


Think think think

by Jemtoka



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Character Study, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jemtoka/pseuds/Jemtoka
Summary: Post kh3- Repliku has returned and has imposter syndrome.
Relationships: Vanitas/Replitwo mention
Kudos: 10





	Think think think

**Author's Note:**

> Uuuuuh I've been rp-ing Repliku in this server I'm in, so I've been thinking about him a lot.

They say that your memories and experiences are what form you into who you are. 

But what did that mean for him? 

He had Riku's memories growing up on the islands, all the way up to... who knows when. He remembered goofing around with Naminé, Sora, Kairi, Wakka, Tidus, Selphie… planning their raft trip with his two (no, HIS closest friends), falling to darkness, fighting Sora... closing the door to darkness... then it was blurry for a bit... he never questioned how he escaped from the RoD did he? 

But that was where his own real memories began... 

He was filled with hate. He hated Sora. The people in the black coats. That dumb castle. The only person who mattered was Naminé. 

But that wasn't fair to Naminé. He shouldn't be that dependent on her. He wanted to do anything for her, everything, as long as she was happy... but she rarely leaned on him, so it was hard to lean back.

Regardless, Sora was still kind to him, even after he found out that he was a replica. When Axel showed him some guidance, he latched onto that, despite how wrong it felt. And Riku... despite everything, as much as he might hate himself at times, he couldn't hate Riku. Riku didn't ask for a clone of himself. No more than he asked to exist. 

Then there were the fragments from being in the New Org. That was a foggy mess. He didn't even realize the memories were flooding into him until the other replica's heart was ripped from the vessel, fading to smoke and ash. Even as that heart disappeared, the memories had to go somewhere. And he was the best choice apparently. 

Flashes of memories that felt like vivid dreams that you could jump right back into. Seeing familiar faces, new bonds, taunting Sora, creating chaos in San Fransokyo. 

Why did he get a whole new mess of memories that weren't his? 

He could ask Naminé for help. She would probably be able to sort through these memories, get rid of what he didn't want, keep the real memories. But...

He was scared. 

What would happen? Would all his memories from the Islands be gone? Of Naminé and the rest? Would he forget or remember more of the replica's memories that he got? Was that really himself from the past? Would he stop feeling angry? More angry? Would he still feel the same about-

He rested against the nearest wall and leaned his head back, feeling defeated.

Would he still be him? 

Why did he have to overthink everything? Did Riku go through this? No... Riku knew who he was. He's always been himself. It's not fair. He has to deal with this on his own. 

He thought to Roxas, Xion, and Naminé. They were also replicas, but they seemed more... genuine. Roxas and Xion didn't have memories when they came to be, they were able to make their own identities with their own experiences, painful as it might have been.

And Naminé....

Well, Naminé was an enigma. As close as they were, she still held her thoughts silent and close to her heart. He wanted to learn more, but apparently she didn't know much about herself either. 

But even when Sora mistook Naminé for his memories of Kairi, she was still remembered as Naminé. Not Kairi. 

She might understand...? Though he had a feeling that she felt responsible for him. Guilty. Like she only helped him because she created memories of their bond togehter(that didn't matter to him). He wanted to avoid giving her troubles as much as possible, and unloading this all onto her wouldn't help anyone. He tended to overthink the little things, while she thought about things deeply and from every perspective, eventually leading back to how she could have prevented it. 

It wasn't anything worth upsetting her for. 

Hm.

The others were never mistaken for their counterpart, were they? Never mistook themself for someone else? 

Silver knew they were all real. That he was real... physically at least. And his heart was real, he proved that much when he was stuck on his own in the RoD. 

He had the chance to talk with Vanitas. He understood a little better than most people. His bond with Ventus, having memories and feelings that weren't his. It was nice to have a kindred spirit around. 

But Vanitas prefered the version of him that was in the New Organization. Well, not 'prefer' per say. Vanitas knew Silver was his own separate person, but their resemblance made things hard for Vanitas.

He was glad someone cared for his other self… he remembered their time together. It was always fun, getting on each others nerves. 

But that wasn't him. 

"Not-Riku." He muttered under his breath. 

Braig had called him that. And other as well, during the New. Org times. And they weren't wrong. He actually agreed. Just a clone of Riku that went astray... still dreamingn of an island, playing with friends that weren't his.

But none of that was real. 

Yet, he still woke up some days thinking he was Riku.

Then every morning, slapped with reality that hes not.

Why why why whY WHY??

He knocked his head against the wall, creating a small dent.

"Shit." 

He went to find someone to explain the dent in the wall, so they could fix it. 

It's alright.

"I'll deal."

**Author's Note:**

> He thought about changing his appearance, but it wouldnt change his memories or how he felt. Just how other people saw him.


End file.
